Missed My Chance
by LegendaryHighFive
Summary: Castle missed his chance once again as Josh walked up behind Beckett. He gave her a forced smile as he turned around, not daring to turn back as he heard her disappointed "Goodbye". One-shot! Request!


_"I can't see anything! I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."_

I heard Fallon's truly apologetic and defeated voice through the phone in Beckett's hand as she lowered it, looking at me in shock and disbelief. Slowly raising my head, I looked up from her phone to her eyes as I saw them slowly water.

I felt a lump begin to form in my throat as I looked at the emerald eyes I have grown accustomed to the last 3 years. Reaching out my arm, I beckoned silently, not being able to speak, and felt her small, gloved hand slip into my larger one. Gulping as I told her everything I ever wanted to say through the silence of my eyes.

"Castle..." Beckett said in a defeated whisper, grabbing my attention as I continued to clutch her gloved hand tightly.

_No. I can t let anything happen to her._ Without thinking, or looking, I reached my hand over and grasped the rough wires in my right hand, yanking it as the timer turned to zero seconds.

Crouching over Beckett slightly as we waited for the seemingly inevitable explosion, we both rose, only encountering silence. I looked at my hand, instantly dropping the wires that were held in a death grip.

_Oh my god. I did it!_

I heard a relief breath coming from Beckett, my wide eyes still staring at the bomb.

"Ohh! Castle. Castle!" I turned to Beckett, seeing her breathing heavily as her now smiling and teary eyes locked on to my disbelieving ones. Opening my arms, I felt her instantly jump into them as we both let out a hearty laugh. Wrapping my arms around her petite waist, feeling her arms clamp themselves around my shoulders, I couldn t help but think of how nice her body felt pressed up against mine. I buried my face in the nook between her neck and shoulder as I inhaled her wonderful scent, laughing in relief.

Pulling back, I felt her hand clamp my arm as we both looked at the bomb, making sure we weren't already dead. She was breathing hard still as she laughed. I rubbed my hands roughly on my eyes, thinking,_ I did it! I saved everyone! I saved...her!_

I jumped back and yelled in happiness, "Yes!" Pointing to the bomb as if I was showing that I was the boss. I grinned harder as I heard her laughter, glancing over to her as I continued to jump up and down in triumph.

We survived the unsurvivable, again.

I sat there, smiling once again as I raised my cool beer to my lips, looking over at Beckett who was laughing as she recited what happened to our friends. I couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked and how her eyes lit up as she told the story.

_Wait...why didn t she say anything about the part where we held hands?_

My smile faltered as I turned and addressed Ryan, "I figured one of them had to be the one."

I brought the beer to my lips once again, welcoming the sting of it as it quickly streamed down my throat.

"Captain's right. You guys don t know how lucky you are." Esposito said solemnly as he turned between Beckett and I.

I smiled, knowing exactly how lucky I was as I looked over to the beautiful woman I was lucky enough to encounter 3 years ago. All these years, we have risked both of our lives and I even saved her life multiple times out of the line of duty. I looked into her eyes as she turned to me, as I then turned to Esposito.

"Actually, I do," Smiling as I turned back to her, shooting her a fond smile, watching as she slightly blushed and lowered her eyes to the table.

"Well, we were just doing our jobs...Actually, I was doing my job, I don t know what the hell he was doing."

I turned my head from Fallon to Beckett as I heard her teasing tone as she once again, subtly pointed out that I'm not a cop. "Heeeyyyy..but that's true." Smiling, I turned back to Fallon, nudging her gently with my elbow.

"Hell of a day, huh?" I asked, smiling as I staring into her eyes, as she smiled back up at me.

"Hell of a day," she agreed, shaking her head. I couldn't help but remember all her different hairstyles over the past few years as I looked at how her wavy hair laid upon her shoulders.

_Ok. I m gonna do it. Nothing stopping me now...Here I go_.

"You know...I was thinking maybe..." I stopped as I spotted a familiar looking motorcyclist walking towards me with a stoic face. I cursed internally as I knew I didn t have a chance once again. I had waited too long. "I should go home...get some rest..long day." I gulped and resisted the urge to hug her once again as I painfully backed away from her, seeing the smile dissolve from her face as I did. "Goodnight." Putting on a forced smile as I turned away from her quickly before my voice cracked.

I quickly walked away, not daring to turn around as I heard her disappointed voice call out to me. "Goodnight."

Finally in the elevator, I hesitated before turning around, leaning against the wall. I felt utterly defeated and I couldn't help the twinge of jealousy rising within me as I saw the lucky guy be able to hug his...girlfriend so freely. I adverted my gaze as it began to become fuzzy as tears threatened to make their way through, I blinked a few times, trying to swallow back the lump in my throat as I saw the elevator door begin to close.

_Had love play so many tricks on me_  
_I've always felt cheated that you'd make me leave_  
_Like taking my sight after letting me see_  
_I found out love had something up it's sleeve_  
_Leave me scattered like leaves by winds that never blew_  
_When I captured the starts in the palm of my hand it was true_  
_I'd just give them back to you._

_Oh I missed my chance with you._


End file.
